Here's the thing....sprinting is just, a big deal. For me, on a personal level, it's a REALLY big deal. Still....all these years later. It runs (pun?) VERY deep; it's the kind of thing that no matter what I try to do to explain it with words....I'm gonna fall short, one way or another.
This goes all the way down to what I perceive as the very core of who I am, and its importance seemingly predates a lot of the stuff that came along down the line that further REINFORCED it as such an important aspect of my life and myself. The fact is, running fast (particularly in the context of "sprinting") has nearly always meant something big to me.
Frankly, the magnitude of this is a bit scary, and probably always has been. One really shouldn't put all their eggs in one basket, as it were. And, to an extent, I haven't. I've got a lot of other interests that I have real passions for (music, movies, video games, books if I ever sit down and read, etc). I'm married and have kids. There's a lot of other things going on in life with me (and MAN do kids take up time, effort, and energy)....but yet there it still is. "Sprinting". Still there, and here I am still wanting it and chasing it.
A big part of what makes the significance of running/sprinting so "scary" is this; it's always been something that could so easily be taken away. Of course, in fact, it very often has been "taken away". Which is maybe an additional layer to why I still want it so much. The "taken away" stories are long and varied for me, but while they are also a really big deal to me, I've become self aware enough to know that they aren't of terrible interest to others. I mean, certainly none of this is of any interest to anyone. That lack of interest expands exponentially the orgin stories of each chip on my shoulders is expounded upon. Even I can sense it when THINKING about explaining that stuff, and then realizing I need to keep my miuth shit. Those stories absolutely DO swirl around in my head quite a bit, though.
Which brings me to my current situation. Right now, it seems like my right achilles is adding another entry to my "taken away" list; it doesn't feel very good at all and it may only get worse from here. I DID do a sprint workout last Tuesday. I made it through over a thousand meters of distance for the workout in total, an amount for a sprint workout that I haven't remotely attempted since early 2019. The results of said workout were pretty poor statistically speaking, and the achilles didn't really feel great...but it got BETTER as I ran. Which doesn't really prove much of anything...but for now I'm preferring to be optimistic about that.
The real key is, can I build on that workout? Can my body recover and allow me to push harder? I'm trying to plan for another sprint workout this Monday. Basically, I've got these next five weeks to save my "season", and these next five DAYS I will probably tell me if I'll sink or swim. I also did a depth jump workout yesterday, which was also statistically quite poor, but the achilles allowed the workout to happen. So, for now, that's a win.
It's not clear to me which way this will play out. But I have to try. Cause I want it. I always have, and I always will... And these days, I really have no idea if it's the last time I'll get to even try. I'm not even sure if this has truly counted as trying up to this point; it may never lead to a competition result. In 2018 and early 2019, I may have gotten to 10.6 or 10.5 fitness, but I never ran in a meet to prove that. So did it even happen? Kind of feels like it didn't. But...I'm at least gonna try to keep trying to try.
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