Probably Not Real

160: 19.3

200: 24.9

200: 25.0

160: 19.7

I'm not out of the game yet. Apparently. Those are my sprint workout stats from yesterday. I took huge rests, especially before that last 160m (I think it approached 18 minutes), and I had huge winds on my back...but that seemed like a really good result. 

I just looked back at my last few posts, and I pondered how those posts fit with my actual lived experience. To a surprising extent, that March 15th sprint workout was kind of the beginning of the end for me, as it were. Or maybe it was more the "horizontal plyos" I did that I never posted about a few days after that sprint workout. In fact, those plyos must have been what REALLY started to push my achilles over the edge, probably more so than the sprints.

I guess those plyos were a supremely bad idea. But, I did PERFORM them well. I suppose at too much of a cost. I guess I can't incorporate what I call "horizontal" plyos (which include single leg triple bounds as part of the overall session) into my plans until my achilles shows legitimate progression from its currently typically inflammed state. The depth jumps, which of course are bilateral, don't bother it as much. So...I'm going to just stick with those for now until after July (when I'll reasses my achilles and try to "rehab" it). Unless my achilles improves dramatically as I build up to the July masters meet I'm trying to run in, but clearly that's unlikely. 

Anyway, between my achilles, my back, and just my overall concept for my training plan, everything has been pretty steeply down hill from the successfully performed tandem of that sprint workout and plyo sesh. Until this workout I did yesterday, that is. This is the first truly decent output I've had in a workout since I pulled my back on March 31st. 

In essence, the workout yesterday was like a rebooted version of that March 15th sprint workout; it was highly wind aided, with good warm temperatures, big rest periods, and the results seem very exciting (if not tempered by the knowledge of the wind).

Except, in this case, I wasn't going in expecting big results out of the workout. The goal here was simply to get through the workout without blowing up my achilles.  Or anything else. When I looked down at the clock to see my times, I was very pleasantly surprised. And a little confused. Part of me wonders if I measured something wrong on my distances...

Originally, these longer workouts seemed more risky for the achilles. But I've done two of these since trying to get back to running again, and right now I'm actually preferring them to the faster, shorter sprint sessions. For the time being, I'm holding off on planning a full go shorter workout until I'm a little more ready to go. So next week I'm going to repeat the longer workout I did last week, but hopefully perform it more intentionally fast. Then from there I hope to reincorporate the shorter workouts, too.

I'm not out of the woods yet, but my achilles seems to be responding well right now. So the goal of running at a meet in June that I signed up for is now full go. That's kind of my deadline for whether or not I'll really go for the masters meet in July. If I can't run in that June meet, it's hard to imagine I'll be in a good place for July.

This workout result was a really good first step towards that, though. Assuming this was all real...

What If This is the Last Time?

Here's the thing....sprinting is just, a big deal. For me, on a personal level, it's a REALLY big deal. Still....all these years later. It runs (pun?) VERY deep; it's the kind of thing that no matter what I try to do to explain it with words....I'm gonna fall short, one way or another.

This goes all the way down to what I perceive as the very core of who I am, and its importance seemingly predates a lot of the stuff that came along down the line that further REINFORCED it as such an important aspect of my life and myself. The fact is, running fast (particularly in the context of "sprinting") has nearly always meant something big to me.

Frankly, the magnitude of this is a bit scary, and probably always has been. One really shouldn't put all their eggs in one basket, as it were. And, to an extent, I haven't. I've got a lot of other interests that I have real passions for (music, movies, video games, books if I ever sit down and read, etc). I'm married and have kids. There's a lot of other things going on in life with me (and MAN do kids take up time, effort, and energy)....but yet there it still is. "Sprinting". Still there, and here I am still wanting it and chasing it.

A big part of what makes the significance of running/sprinting so "scary" is this; it's always been something that could so easily be taken away. Of course, in fact, it very often has been "taken away". Which is maybe an additional layer to why I still want it so much. The "taken away" stories are long and varied for me, but while they are also a really big deal to me, I've become self aware enough to know that they aren't of terrible interest to others. I mean, certainly none of this is of any interest to anyone. That lack of interest expands exponentially the orgin stories of each chip on my shoulders is expounded upon. Even I can sense it when THINKING about explaining that stuff,  and then realizing I need to keep my miuth shit. Those stories absolutely DO swirl around in my head quite a bit, though.

Which brings me to my current situation. Right now, it seems like my right achilles is adding another entry to my "taken away" list; it doesn't feel very good at all and it may only get worse from here. I DID do a sprint workout last Tuesday. I made it through over a thousand meters of distance for the workout in total, an amount for a sprint workout that I haven't remotely attempted since early 2019. The results of said workout were pretty poor statistically speaking, and the achilles didn't really feel great...but it got BETTER as I ran. Which doesn't really prove much of anything...but for now I'm preferring to be optimistic about that.

The real key is, can I build on that workout? Can my body recover and allow me to push harder? I'm trying to plan for another sprint workout this Monday. Basically, I've got these next five weeks to save my "season", and these next five DAYS I will probably tell me if I'll sink or swim. I also did a depth jump workout yesterday, which was also statistically quite poor, but the achilles allowed the workout to happen. So, for now, that's a win.

It's not clear to me which way this will play out. But I have to try. Cause I want it. I always have, and I always will... And these days, I really have no idea if it's the last time I'll get to even try. I'm not even sure if this has truly counted as trying up to this point; it may never lead to a competition result. In 2018 and early 2019, I may have gotten to 10.6 or 10.5 fitness, but I never ran in a meet to prove that. So did it even happen? Kind of feels like it didn't. But...I'm at least gonna try to keep trying to try.